Hello is about all I've really learned to say in Korean so far. I'm still trying to learn the vowels and consonants so I can read Korean. I haven't blogged in a while so I'm just gonna update on a few things.
Christmas was a great day with my family! We all stayed up till midnight on Christmas Eve to open presents. My brother and I unfortunately had to work so that's why we did that. It was still good though. I mainly got stuff for my mission. No surprise there haha. I'm not sad though, I'm glad to just have spent time with everyone I care about and see them all happy. It's crazy to think that next year I'll be spending Christmas in South Korea! So crazy!! I'm sad but still very very excited. I'm just glad I'll be able to talk to my family on that day.
Today I got my very last shot for my mission. Typhoid. What fun! I don't feel very good at all. I even called out sick from work. If you know me at all, you know I hate needles. They scare me so much. So, I am so relieved to have finished with all my shots. Thank goodness! I know all this is temporary though and I'll be better soon. Plus, it will all be worth it because of serving a mission.
This past week I also tried to submit my application for a passport but my picture wasn't acceptable, and I didn't have the right birth certificate that they want now, so that means delays.. sad day.
So, today my mom and I ordered my birth certificate and that'll take hopefully just a week to come. Then I'll have to go to Sam's Club to get my passport picture taken. Might as well go there this time to make sure the picture is to acceptable standards. I'm just crossing my fingers I can get my passport fast so I can submit my visa application soon after. Cross your fingers for me guys ;) haha
Also the new year is coming soon, meaning my mission is growing closer and closer. As of today I have 62 days, basically two months till my mission. It's coming so quick! I want it to go slower.. :(
Oh well, I'll make the best of the time I have. Happy holidays everyone!
Thursday, December 26, 2013
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Cold Feet?
As hard as it is to admit, I have really been struggling with the temptation to not serve a mission. You read right. After all the Lord has shown me how could I even let that thought into my mind! Again, I know I need to serve because I received such a powerful affirmation that it was the right choice for me, but it sometimes feels like there is so much that keeps popping up that makes me want to stay! I want to learn more about South Korea and the culture there, but once I do I start finding out things that make me not want to go. The strange food, mostiquos, etc. The list goes on and on! I'm just not that type of person to go through all that. I love the way I live. My nice warm bed. No bugs biting me in the middle of the night. I have a Taco Bell and In N Out right a few blocks from my house. I'm missing America a ton, and I haven't even left yet! It's all so silly really. And to think of what a comparatively small sacrifice it is for me to serve! My Savior, Jesus Christ, suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane and died on the cross for me! That's the biggest sacrifice of all. How dare I? Haha! Word is, a lot of people get cold feet, but you just have to remember why you made the decision in the first place. My mother has taught me to never turn back on a decision made by the Spirit and to discern where every prompting was coming from.
Who am I kidding though? We all know who is putting these thoughts in my mind. Yep it's him alright... Satan.
I came across this quote on pinterest one time. It says it's by Gordon B. Hinckley, but after research on lds.org I did not find the exact quote anywhere. He said something similar but this wasn't all him. Either way though, it's still a powerful and very inspiring quote.
Who am I kidding though? We all know who is putting these thoughts in my mind. Yep it's him alright... Satan.
I came across this quote on pinterest one time. It says it's by Gordon B. Hinckley, but after research on lds.org I did not find the exact quote anywhere. He said something similar but this wasn't all him. Either way though, it's still a powerful and very inspiring quote.
I have the desire to serve the Lord, I know that he has guided my decision, and I know he will bless me. I believe that the Lord will continue to send little boys to this earth who will become part of that Priesthood Army. When the Lord calls me to be a mother, I want to be strong enough and worthy of raising and teaching these young Priesthood holders and daughters of God, as my mother has been and her mother before. With an eternal perspective, eighteen months is such an insignificant amount of time, but with hard work I know it can yield significant eternal happiness to those who are prepared to receive it. Keeping this in mind as well as the unmistakeable answer to my prayer in January, has helped me regain my focus. The temptation is still there and it has never been harder to ignore. There are a million reasons for me to stay home, get married, finish school, etc. (believe me I'd love to) and only one reason for me to serve a mission. But that one reason is powerful.
The Lord has asked me to, and so I will.
I recently came across Deuteronomy 5:27. It is the response of Moses' people after receiving the 10 Commandments,
"Go thou near, and hear all that the Lord our God shall say: and speak thou unto us all that the Lord our God shall speak unto thee; and we will hear it, and do it."
It's so simple! "We will hear it, and do it." I have heard the Lord's will for me through the Holy Ghost, and I am going to do it. It will be a big sacrifice and I may feel inadequate, but then I was reminded of something very important when I read Ether 12:27.
"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."
I have been called to the last place I've ever thought I'd go. It's scary and new, but I trust my Heavenly Father. I know He has provided this humbling experience to make me better.
My favorite scripture is my favorite for this very reason:
"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" -Psalm 27:1
So, take that Satan! Stop scaring me and giving me doubts. Because I chose to serve an honorable mission I will change lives forever and help build the Kingdom of Heaven. With the proper faith and companionship I will do amazing things, I just know it!
Thursday, December 5, 2013
I thought I liked Shopping...
One of the big issues I had with the mission thing was the whole stereotype that sister missionaries had of being frumpy, plain, and boring. Because that is so not me! If you don't know me already, I love dressing cute with heels, bows and makeup. That is one of the big things that people laughed about when they heard I was going to South Korea! I am going to be not only out of my comfort zone, but I might not be able to get the make up or shampoo that I like. I definitely won't be able to bring all my cute high heels. However, with sacrifice comes the opportunity to be creative in finding ways to still be the "cute" me.
Shopping for clothes had it's ups and downs, as do a lot of things in life.The rule is that skirts/dresses have to be below your knee, but above your ankle. I'm 5'6" so finding skirts and dresses that are long enough will be tricky. Along with finding the right length, it had to be cute! Duh! Boring was not an option, so I had to do some searching. I have been blessed to have been taught at a young age the importance of wearing modest clothes, but I still had some skirts/dresses that were borderline or just not appropritate for a mission(maxi skirts, bodycon pencil skirts, etc). As I began my search for some new outfits, I wasn't super impressed with the availability of cute, missionary appropriate, and affordable clothes. Going on a mission is voluntary; in fact, you have to pay to go! I am not in the business of spending a fortune on a whole new wardrobe. This little diagram explains what I went through.
After much searching, I was pleasantly surprised with what I found. I managed to break my way into the "highly unlikely" category mentioned above. Although, I must admit I did buy some modest-attractive clothes; meaning they were a bit pricey. I hope that some of the outfits I show you will give you some ideas for things to wear whether you are a sister going on a mission too, or you are just looking for some fun new modest skirts to have! All of these are going with me on my mission and I am pretty happy how my missionary wardrobe turned out.
Mika Rose is where I bought a majority of my new skirts/dresses.
As cute as this outfits are, this store is the "pricey" I mentioned before. So, if you think it's out of your price range that is ay-ok! You have gotta admit that they are all cute though. Right?
The next store I found clothes at is Target. I am a huge fan of Target! I dislike Walmart clothes for their cheap quality, but target clothes are great and also cheap! After buying clothes at mika rose I didn't need much more. I did need new cardigans and a coat. Target has tons of cardigans! It happened to be Thanksgiving week when I went shopping, so I got like 6 cardigans on sale! It was a great deal!
As for a coat, I ended up buying mine at Abercrombie. Korea has rain, heat, and snow. So, I was advised to buy an all season weather coat. Which is exactly what I found.
Mika Rose is where I bought a majority of my new skirts/dresses.
I LOVE this outfit so much! I bought the cardigan and skirt. Everything else I already own. |
My grey skirt is too short for me to wear with garments so I got this one to replace it. |
I had like no dresses, so I couldn't resist buying some for my mission. |
I didn't buy anything in this picture, but this is an outfit I plan on wearing. I own everything already! |
As cute as this outfits are, this store is the "pricey" I mentioned before. So, if you think it's out of your price range that is ay-ok! You have gotta admit that they are all cute though. Right?
The next store I found clothes at is Target. I am a huge fan of Target! I dislike Walmart clothes for their cheap quality, but target clothes are great and also cheap! After buying clothes at mika rose I didn't need much more. I did need new cardigans and a coat. Target has tons of cardigans! It happened to be Thanksgiving week when I went shopping, so I got like 6 cardigans on sale! It was a great deal!
As for a coat, I ended up buying mine at Abercrombie. Korea has rain, heat, and snow. So, I was advised to buy an all season weather coat. Which is exactly what I found.
Pretty cute right? I love that it has the sherpa lining so I will stay very warm :)
Some other good places to buy a coat is at Burlington Coat Factory and Hollister Co.
Also, Mika Rose has plain modest t-shirts. So does Downeast Basics. I got some at Downeast! Hope this helped anyone!
Sunday, December 1, 2013
I Love To See The Temple
Yesterday was a very special day for me. I was able to go into the Los Angeles Temple and receive my Endowments. I made more covenants with my Father in Heaven and I just want to say that I loved it! The temple is such a beautiful place. I felt the spirit more intensely while inside. I left feeling completely clean and pure, with empowering strength. I strongly recommend that every worthy person goes to the temple. I hope and pray that I can always find the time to go.
Me with my lovely parents.
This was the very first time my family was all inside the temple together. Very cool!
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Happy Thanksgiving!
It's not Thanksgiving without pie! My sister and I decided we would like to make a homemade apple pie in honor of Thanksgiving and it was delicious!
After my brothers came home from work we then continued my family's tradition by eating at Home Town Buffet. It was a great day!
I'm so thankful for my family. I think it's very important for all of us to give thanks to God daily for the things we have been blessed with. When we do so, we are reminded of how much our Heavenly Father loves us. It's very reassuring to know that He loves you! :)
Our attempt at looking like the crazy grandma in
the Compatibility game
Here's my nephew and I being silly while at the resturant.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Learning a New Language Tip
What better way to practice the language you're learning by listening to the songs and movies you know by heart. If you're anything like me, you watch LOTS of Disney movies. So I know this technique is gonna be very beneficial to me.
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Shots! Ouch!
I got some shots today. I was supposed to get all 4 that I was missing but they currently didn't have 2 in supply. So, yay me... I get to go back and have needles stabbed in my arms.
Other than the shots and feeling a little nausuea from the flu shot, I had a decent day. My mom and I got some books and a map of South Korea. I also got this traveler's dictionary that's really cool. Has all this vocab and terms in it.
My dad seemed to really like them. He said he will help me try and understand it all. Which makes no sense... he knows Thai not Korean hahah oh well he is just being nice. Gotta love the support!
Other than the shots and feeling a little nausuea from the flu shot, I had a decent day. My mom and I got some books and a map of South Korea. I also got this traveler's dictionary that's really cool. Has all this vocab and terms in it.
My dad seemed to really like them. He said he will help me try and understand it all. Which makes no sense... he knows Thai not Korean hahah oh well he is just being nice. Gotta love the support!
Monday, November 18, 2013
Serving with heart and "Seoul"
It's crazy that I got called to Korea! Deep down I knew the Lord would call me to a place so out of my comfort zone! I mean the Lord does have a sense of humor right? haha I had been praying to go certain places and not go somewhere I won't like. But nope, the Lord knows me better than I know myself and He is sending me to a place where I will be challenged more than I'd like. I will be honest. I was pretty disappointed when the words Korea Seoul South Mission ran out of my mouth when I opened my call in front of my friends and family. That's one of the last places I ever wanted to be called to go. If you've read my post the day I got my letter I even mentioned I didn't want to go to Korea! But after praying about it and going to church yesterday, I know the Lord called me there for a reason. It's just great and amazing how the Lord knows me. The lesson in relief society on Sunday was about doing good unto others. I felt the love of my Savior as I was reminded that I was called to serve the people of Korea for a reason. I love the Lord more than anything. It is the first and great commandment to love the Lord with everything we are and have. To me that means sacrificing. It's very scary. I am a very picky eater. I hardly know anything about Korea. I'm a girly girl and I like having my essential girl type things like makeup and cute clothes. I'm not saying I can't have that while in Korea. I just know I will be out of my comfort zone and the only way I can get through it is by having faith that the Lord will watch over me. He will help me get through it. I must give all I have to Him. Face my fears for Him. He atoned for me and so I know He knows my thoughts and my feelings. He is the only person I can rely on to help me live in Korea for 18 months.
When I came to this realization I knew I could do it. My college roommate/best friend Sarah also had told me that she knows this will be so worth it. The feeling of accomplishment I will feel after serving the Lord in Korea will show to myself my potential. She reminded me of something said in my patriarchal blessing and I know more than ever that I want to go to Korea now. As scary as it is, I know I can do it. I'm going to KOREA guys!! :D
P.S. As I was doing research about South Korea I realized I know two people serving their own missions there right now. One is a sister missionary Sister Chestnut. She and I were college roommates at BYU. I can't wait to one day see her again. It's a relief to know there is someone there I will recognize and know well enough. It'll help me feel a little better I think. Also, the second missionary is Elder Champion. He and I went to EFY Santa Barbara together. He may not even remember me, but we're still facebook friends haha. So if I see him while there that'll be very cool!
When I came to this realization I knew I could do it. My college roommate/best friend Sarah also had told me that she knows this will be so worth it. The feeling of accomplishment I will feel after serving the Lord in Korea will show to myself my potential. She reminded me of something said in my patriarchal blessing and I know more than ever that I want to go to Korea now. As scary as it is, I know I can do it. I'm going to KOREA guys!! :D
P.S. As I was doing research about South Korea I realized I know two people serving their own missions there right now. One is a sister missionary Sister Chestnut. She and I were college roommates at BYU. I can't wait to one day see her again. It's a relief to know there is someone there I will recognize and know well enough. It'll help me feel a little better I think. Also, the second missionary is Elder Champion. He and I went to EFY Santa Barbara together. He may not even remember me, but we're still facebook friends haha. So if I see him while there that'll be very cool!
My friend Amber and I at church. I love how cute we both look! |
Saturday, November 16, 2013
I have been called to....?
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
My mission call was sent and the letter was mailed. I should be getting that letter any day now.
Apart of me is pretty nervous. It hasn't quite hit me yet that this is really happening though. I hope I go somewhere I'll like. I'm very scared the Lord is going to send me to some place like Korea or Mexico or something just cause He wants to teach me a lesson and to grow to love it. I really don't want to think of that ever happening though, so I'm just going to toss that idea right out the window! Haha
But I could possibly get that letter in the mail tomorrow.. if not hopefully on Friday! :D
Apart of me is pretty nervous. It hasn't quite hit me yet that this is really happening though. I hope I go somewhere I'll like. I'm very scared the Lord is going to send me to some place like Korea or Mexico or something just cause He wants to teach me a lesson and to grow to love it. I really don't want to think of that ever happening though, so I'm just going to toss that idea right out the window! Haha
But I could possibly get that letter in the mail tomorrow.. if not hopefully on Friday! :D
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Friday, October 11, 2013
Hey there! So, this is my very first post. What better way to start my blog than telling my story right? So, here goes...
I've never ever had the interest in going on a mission. Growing up as an LDS girl I grew to have this desire just to find the love of my life, get married and be a great mother and supporting wife to my family. No, I'm not saying all little mormon girls are taught this and that we HAVE to do that, but it is true in that a woman's role is to nurture and be a mother. So, I've always had the desire to do just that. There's nothing I want more than to be a stay at home mom. If you disagree with that, well I don't care. This is my story.
So, when I graduated high school (class of 2012!) and went off to Brigham Young University I was hopeful in finding my future husband there, just like how my parents met.
I loved BYU! Actually... I loved being in college and living on my own. I was blessed to have roommates who were super fun, cute, friendly, and close to my age. I grew super dooper close to my roommate Sarah.
College was tough though. Even for a straight A student like me. I was struggling. As for the college social life, I was having a blast. I loved meeting new friends. I loved my ward! My roommates! And I liked going on dates... But none of those dates turned into a relationship. There were a few almosts though, and each one taught me a good lesson. Let's start with the first guy- let's call him Sparky. Now Sparky and I met actually through my sister. He kinda used her to get to me. He asked to hang out with her and I, but I love my sister and she kinda had a crush on him. So, when he first asked to hang out with us, we both thought it was just a non forward way of him wanting to hang out with her. So, the whole time we were hanging out with him, I was just being myself, but also trying to make my sister look good. I didn't care much to impress him. But turns out that worked in my favor... he was actually interested in me and NOT my sister. When he dropped my sister and I off at my apartment, he asked me on a date. Totally making things awkward cause my sister was right there. I felt terrible, but yet at the same time, I was flattered. I apologized to my sister a ton of coarse, and made sure she was ok with me going. She probably wasn't and just put up with it cause she loves me and wants me to be happy too.
So, Sparky picked me up for our date. We had a fun time, getting to know each other. After our date he was texting me like every single day. We then went on more dates.. and even more dates. Hanging out quite a bit. Then Thanksgiving came and I'm from California. So, for the holiday, my sister and I went home to spend time with our family. I skyped Sparky once or twice. He texted me quite a bit too. When I got back, he seemed like he could not wait to see me. He even told me he missed me. I definitely had been missing him too! So we go on seeing each other more and after a few weeks go by, I notice he wasn't talking to me as much. He also still hadn't kissed me. Which my roommates and I could not figure out why not! He seemed to really like me, and I was starting to really like him. But we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend yet, so I was fine with taking it slow. After my first and only relationship ended before I left for college and met Sparky, I was enjoying getting to know him. I respected that we were taking things slow. Overtime, however, I did notice that he wasn't really wanting to hang out much anymore though. I felt like I was doing all the work, but he worked and we both had finals so I figured Sparky was just busy. The night before I went home, we finally kissed. It was WAY awkward. But what first kisses aren't right? But then I went home for Christmas break...
While I was home, Sparky hardly texted me at all. I was seriously texting him first every time. When we would talk though, we would still flirt.. so nothing seemed wrong.. Then I came back up to Utah. He came over the night I got home Saturday night. We kissed and this time it was way better! It's how the first kiss should have been. I then went to church with him the next day. He took me to a mission farewell for his family friend. Afterwards, we went to that friend's house for a luncheon. I kind of felt out of place, but i wanted to spend time with him still. When we finished eating, he decided he wanted to go, so we left. He ended up inviting me over to his house. So, first he took me home so I could change, and then we went to his house. We played games with his family I believe, and ate dinner. Then we went and watched a movie which included cuddling and kissing. So, sounds like everything was going just great right? Yeah! I sure thought so. By like 10pm, he decided it was time he took me home. I was like ok sure, but it was very odd cause I've stayed over at his house much later than that usually. The car ride home was awfully quiet, but I was kind of tired, and I figured he was too since he was taking me home. As Sparky was walking me to my door, he hugged me goodbye, but it wasn't the same as all his other hugs. I could tell something was wrong. Boy, was I right!
He ended up telling me he just wants to be friends. He likes hanging out with me, but just doesn't "feel" anything.
I'll spare you my long story of how I cried and tried to still date him with him still leading me on. But I will tell you what I learned.
Have you ever seen the movie He's Just Not That Into You? Great movie! Lots of great advice! Let's just say I should have been watching that movie while I was dating Sparky. Would have spared me the heartbreak. So, if a guy isn't really putting in the effort to talk to you or date you? HE'S NOT INTERESTED. ok?
Now 6 months passed. I went on a few dates here and there. Then I met potiental boyfriend #2! Let's call him Norway. Now Norway was cute. He dressed the way I found attractive on guys. Watch, snapback hats and nice shirts. He also was Norwegian! Hence the nickname! On our first date, we both were kind of awkward, but on our second date, I feel like we got more comfortable together. Just like Sparky, Norway was texting me like ALL the time. I was loving the attention. After my bad experience with Sparky, I realized I wanted the guy to prove he liked me and was interested in me by showing it. And Norway definitely was. We would hang out almost every other day. I was trying not to get too attached so I did go on dates with other guys, but when those dates were over, I just thought about Norway. Once I even ended a date earlier just to hang out with Norway instead. I'm horrible I know! But I realized I really liked him.
One day, we were watching a movie and well we had our first kiss. Now, this kiss was not awkward one bit! So, because it wasn't awkward, I was like whoa! Maybe this could really go somewhere. I always felt good around him. He made me feel comfortable around him so quick too! It was like so perfect until I had to go home for a month in May. Bad mistake! The first week I was home in Cali he said he missed me and we texted all the time. But then he stopped.. I tried to play it cool. I did very well and I'm very proud of myself for not texting him first ever while I was home. I was making sure to not let some guy ruin my time being home by me constantly wanting to be hanging out with him instead.
When I got back, He came over and made spaghetti with me. Great right! But we didn't kiss or even hug. He did scratch my back while playing jenga together but that's it... I didn't notice a difference at the time though. I was so sure this wasn't going to be a Sparky again.
But once again I was wrong. After about a week, I could tell that Norway wasn't acting the same. So, I asked him about it. He ended up telling me he had dated other girls while I was back home in California, and he only sees me as a fun friend to be around.
I am cursed guys!!
EVERY time I go home and then come back, a guy realizes they don't like me. Guess what that did to my self-esteem. I was so devasted that the same thing happened to me AGAIN! What was wrong with me?
A couple months went by, I enjoyed just hanging out with my new roommates Danna and Amber Meeks and going to work during the summer. I was in my old roommate Sarah's wedding. So, that was so great being apart of that and seeing her and her now husband so happy. But I just didn't feel right. I wasn't enjoying my life. I wasn't excited about the new semester coming up. In fact, I was dreading it! I was also very home sick.
I found out that my roommates Danna and Amber were both moving back to California. Which meant I was going to be alone. Yes, I had my job. But Sarah got married. My only other friends were leaving me. I didn't like where I was living. I wasn't excited about school. What was going on?
So, like every girl with a problem.. I called my mother. I went on and on crying to her about how I was feeling... then all of a sudden I started talking about going on a mission with my mother. Ha! Like that was even an option I wanted! I then laughed at myself and discouraged the idea! I didn't want to go on a mission. I wanted a boyfriend! I wanted to get married like Sarah!
A week went by and I still hadn't figured out what I should do. So, I began praying about different options. #1. Continue going to BYU and just stick it out. #2. Move back home and get a job or go to school there, and as much as I didn't want to but I did finally make it an option... #3. Going on a mission.
I prayed every morning and night discussing these options with God. I fasted on Fast Sunday about it. I continued talking to my mom about it. She suggested I get a blessing but I discouraged that. (I didn't really feel comfortable enough in my new ward to ask any guys or my bishop for a blessing.)
Then one day my sister invited me to go do baptisms for the dead with her in the Mt. Timpanogas temple. When she first asked I was thinking, "YES! you get answers in the temple. That's exactly where I need to go" So, I was all up for it!
While in the temple, I brought my scriptures with me while we waited in the little mini chapel/waiting room. I was eager to find an answer I just didn't know where to start, so I turned to my sister and asked her to give me a scripture. Off the top of her head she just told me her favorite scripture. I looked it up. Good scripture, but nothing. I then asked her to give me another one, so she did. Still nothing. I then flipped a couple pages and scanned some random verses. Then i found it! A scripture that stood out to me! It was talking about having questions and I was like yes! That's me! It was perfect! I then went on reading.. Nothing. I then looked up the footnote for the verse that stood out to me. The footnote led to a verse about missionary work. I began laughing to myself. I was like, "No way! That's a coincidence, " as I told my sister about what I just read. I flipped some more pages. Scanning different verses. Missionary work.. again. and again! Who was I kidding? The whole Book of Mormon and Doctrine and Covenants pretty much talks about missionary work everywhere! It was just a coincidence. I was sure of it!
After the temple, my sister and I went out to eat at Olive Garden where she then told me about how there was a general authority who once said that there are no such things as coincidences. Forgot who it was that said it but I still discouraged the idea. I didn't want to believe that I was suppose to go on a mission. That's not what I wanted. I kept telling myself it was just a coincidence.
That same week, my mom called me telling me she had a promonting about me needing to come home for a week. As soon as she told me! I had this overwhelming feeling of joy. Finally something felt right! I wanted to come home so badly! Turns out that same weekend was when Danna and Amber were moving back home, so it was perfect timing! I could get a ride home with them. I just had to ask for time off work!
Asking for a week off was no problem! The lead student at work was very understanding. The hard part was getting people to cover my shifts for that weekend that I was already scheduled for. Took some effort and convincing but I got the shifts all covered.
On my last day of work, my boss Jerry called me into his office. I hadn't told him that I was leaving for a week, but I'm sure the lead student Eliza had mentioned it to him and that's why he wanted to talk to me.
Jerry is such a sweet man! He calls me in and just asks me how I'm doing almost weekly but this time I was nervous. Why though? I didn't know. It was just Jerry. I was only leaving for a week. He wouldn't be mad. Would he?
As I sit down in his little office, he asks how I'm doing. I tell him I'm good. He asks how the jobs I was assigned to do are going. I tell them they're good as I smile nervously. Then I just happen to slip in that same sentence that I'm going to be gone next week. He seems somewhat suprised, so I reassure him I got the okay from Eliza, and I got another coworker to take over my assignments while I'm gone. Now, Jerry is very easy to talk to so he just continues smiling while I go on and on. I mention how I have been homesick. I go on explaining how I have these questions on my mind. Then without thinking I tell him about my experience in the temple.
Boy, was that a bad idea! Jerry then kinda laughs at me and smiles while saying that I got my answer. I'm of coarse confused. I continued to pretend I hadn't gotten my answer, but as we continued talking about a mission. I began to cry. I felt the spirit tell my in my heart tell me that I am suppose to go. Jerry was right! I had gotten my answer. I just was so closed off to it that I hadn't been able to recognize it.
I'm going to always blame Jerry for this! It's all cause of him. That sweet man just had to go and invite me into his office didn't he? He had to do that sweet smile of his and be so sure that I was going to go on a mission. haha. He changed my life.
But in a good way. He helped me realize something huge! He comforted me when I told him about my fears about going on a mission. He will forever be a great mentor to me.
After I left his office and left work, I called my sister and cried as I told her how I got my answer. It was such a great experience. I felt the spirit very strong that day. That's for sure. I'll never forget those feelings.
So, there you go. That's how I figured out that I should go on a mission. I ended up moving back home to prepare my mission papers. I'm actually in pain as I type right now because I got my wisdom teeth removed yesterday. All because I am going to go on a mission. Crazy how God can have a completely different plan for you huh? I sure never thought I'd be going on a mission, but now I'm more excited than ever. I've finally come to accept it. I'm still nervous and know there's a lot I need to do to prepare, but I do know it feels right. I still have the desire to get married one day, but I've now aligned my timing with the Lord's. I understand that a mission is what I need to do first, before I can have my happily ever after. :)
I've never ever had the interest in going on a mission. Growing up as an LDS girl I grew to have this desire just to find the love of my life, get married and be a great mother and supporting wife to my family. No, I'm not saying all little mormon girls are taught this and that we HAVE to do that, but it is true in that a woman's role is to nurture and be a mother. So, I've always had the desire to do just that. There's nothing I want more than to be a stay at home mom. If you disagree with that, well I don't care. This is my story.
So, when I graduated high school (class of 2012!) and went off to Brigham Young University I was hopeful in finding my future husband there, just like how my parents met.
I loved BYU! Actually... I loved being in college and living on my own. I was blessed to have roommates who were super fun, cute, friendly, and close to my age. I grew super dooper close to my roommate Sarah.
College was tough though. Even for a straight A student like me. I was struggling. As for the college social life, I was having a blast. I loved meeting new friends. I loved my ward! My roommates! And I liked going on dates... But none of those dates turned into a relationship. There were a few almosts though, and each one taught me a good lesson. Let's start with the first guy- let's call him Sparky. Now Sparky and I met actually through my sister. He kinda used her to get to me. He asked to hang out with her and I, but I love my sister and she kinda had a crush on him. So, when he first asked to hang out with us, we both thought it was just a non forward way of him wanting to hang out with her. So, the whole time we were hanging out with him, I was just being myself, but also trying to make my sister look good. I didn't care much to impress him. But turns out that worked in my favor... he was actually interested in me and NOT my sister. When he dropped my sister and I off at my apartment, he asked me on a date. Totally making things awkward cause my sister was right there. I felt terrible, but yet at the same time, I was flattered. I apologized to my sister a ton of coarse, and made sure she was ok with me going. She probably wasn't and just put up with it cause she loves me and wants me to be happy too.
So, Sparky picked me up for our date. We had a fun time, getting to know each other. After our date he was texting me like every single day. We then went on more dates.. and even more dates. Hanging out quite a bit. Then Thanksgiving came and I'm from California. So, for the holiday, my sister and I went home to spend time with our family. I skyped Sparky once or twice. He texted me quite a bit too. When I got back, he seemed like he could not wait to see me. He even told me he missed me. I definitely had been missing him too! So we go on seeing each other more and after a few weeks go by, I notice he wasn't talking to me as much. He also still hadn't kissed me. Which my roommates and I could not figure out why not! He seemed to really like me, and I was starting to really like him. But we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend yet, so I was fine with taking it slow. After my first and only relationship ended before I left for college and met Sparky, I was enjoying getting to know him. I respected that we were taking things slow. Overtime, however, I did notice that he wasn't really wanting to hang out much anymore though. I felt like I was doing all the work, but he worked and we both had finals so I figured Sparky was just busy. The night before I went home, we finally kissed. It was WAY awkward. But what first kisses aren't right? But then I went home for Christmas break...
While I was home, Sparky hardly texted me at all. I was seriously texting him first every time. When we would talk though, we would still flirt.. so nothing seemed wrong.. Then I came back up to Utah. He came over the night I got home Saturday night. We kissed and this time it was way better! It's how the first kiss should have been. I then went to church with him the next day. He took me to a mission farewell for his family friend. Afterwards, we went to that friend's house for a luncheon. I kind of felt out of place, but i wanted to spend time with him still. When we finished eating, he decided he wanted to go, so we left. He ended up inviting me over to his house. So, first he took me home so I could change, and then we went to his house. We played games with his family I believe, and ate dinner. Then we went and watched a movie which included cuddling and kissing. So, sounds like everything was going just great right? Yeah! I sure thought so. By like 10pm, he decided it was time he took me home. I was like ok sure, but it was very odd cause I've stayed over at his house much later than that usually. The car ride home was awfully quiet, but I was kind of tired, and I figured he was too since he was taking me home. As Sparky was walking me to my door, he hugged me goodbye, but it wasn't the same as all his other hugs. I could tell something was wrong. Boy, was I right!
He ended up telling me he just wants to be friends. He likes hanging out with me, but just doesn't "feel" anything.
I'll spare you my long story of how I cried and tried to still date him with him still leading me on. But I will tell you what I learned.
Have you ever seen the movie He's Just Not That Into You? Great movie! Lots of great advice! Let's just say I should have been watching that movie while I was dating Sparky. Would have spared me the heartbreak. So, if a guy isn't really putting in the effort to talk to you or date you? HE'S NOT INTERESTED. ok?
Now 6 months passed. I went on a few dates here and there. Then I met potiental boyfriend #2! Let's call him Norway. Now Norway was cute. He dressed the way I found attractive on guys. Watch, snapback hats and nice shirts. He also was Norwegian! Hence the nickname! On our first date, we both were kind of awkward, but on our second date, I feel like we got more comfortable together. Just like Sparky, Norway was texting me like ALL the time. I was loving the attention. After my bad experience with Sparky, I realized I wanted the guy to prove he liked me and was interested in me by showing it. And Norway definitely was. We would hang out almost every other day. I was trying not to get too attached so I did go on dates with other guys, but when those dates were over, I just thought about Norway. Once I even ended a date earlier just to hang out with Norway instead. I'm horrible I know! But I realized I really liked him.
One day, we were watching a movie and well we had our first kiss. Now, this kiss was not awkward one bit! So, because it wasn't awkward, I was like whoa! Maybe this could really go somewhere. I always felt good around him. He made me feel comfortable around him so quick too! It was like so perfect until I had to go home for a month in May. Bad mistake! The first week I was home in Cali he said he missed me and we texted all the time. But then he stopped.. I tried to play it cool. I did very well and I'm very proud of myself for not texting him first ever while I was home. I was making sure to not let some guy ruin my time being home by me constantly wanting to be hanging out with him instead.
When I got back, He came over and made spaghetti with me. Great right! But we didn't kiss or even hug. He did scratch my back while playing jenga together but that's it... I didn't notice a difference at the time though. I was so sure this wasn't going to be a Sparky again.
But once again I was wrong. After about a week, I could tell that Norway wasn't acting the same. So, I asked him about it. He ended up telling me he had dated other girls while I was back home in California, and he only sees me as a fun friend to be around.
I am cursed guys!!
EVERY time I go home and then come back, a guy realizes they don't like me. Guess what that did to my self-esteem. I was so devasted that the same thing happened to me AGAIN! What was wrong with me?
A couple months went by, I enjoyed just hanging out with my new roommates Danna and Amber Meeks and going to work during the summer. I was in my old roommate Sarah's wedding. So, that was so great being apart of that and seeing her and her now husband so happy. But I just didn't feel right. I wasn't enjoying my life. I wasn't excited about the new semester coming up. In fact, I was dreading it! I was also very home sick.
I found out that my roommates Danna and Amber were both moving back to California. Which meant I was going to be alone. Yes, I had my job. But Sarah got married. My only other friends were leaving me. I didn't like where I was living. I wasn't excited about school. What was going on?
So, like every girl with a problem.. I called my mother. I went on and on crying to her about how I was feeling... then all of a sudden I started talking about going on a mission with my mother. Ha! Like that was even an option I wanted! I then laughed at myself and discouraged the idea! I didn't want to go on a mission. I wanted a boyfriend! I wanted to get married like Sarah!
A week went by and I still hadn't figured out what I should do. So, I began praying about different options. #1. Continue going to BYU and just stick it out. #2. Move back home and get a job or go to school there, and as much as I didn't want to but I did finally make it an option... #3. Going on a mission.
I prayed every morning and night discussing these options with God. I fasted on Fast Sunday about it. I continued talking to my mom about it. She suggested I get a blessing but I discouraged that. (I didn't really feel comfortable enough in my new ward to ask any guys or my bishop for a blessing.)
Then one day my sister invited me to go do baptisms for the dead with her in the Mt. Timpanogas temple. When she first asked I was thinking, "YES! you get answers in the temple. That's exactly where I need to go" So, I was all up for it!
While in the temple, I brought my scriptures with me while we waited in the little mini chapel/waiting room. I was eager to find an answer I just didn't know where to start, so I turned to my sister and asked her to give me a scripture. Off the top of her head she just told me her favorite scripture. I looked it up. Good scripture, but nothing. I then asked her to give me another one, so she did. Still nothing. I then flipped a couple pages and scanned some random verses. Then i found it! A scripture that stood out to me! It was talking about having questions and I was like yes! That's me! It was perfect! I then went on reading.. Nothing. I then looked up the footnote for the verse that stood out to me. The footnote led to a verse about missionary work. I began laughing to myself. I was like, "No way! That's a coincidence, " as I told my sister about what I just read. I flipped some more pages. Scanning different verses. Missionary work.. again. and again! Who was I kidding? The whole Book of Mormon and Doctrine and Covenants pretty much talks about missionary work everywhere! It was just a coincidence. I was sure of it!
After the temple, my sister and I went out to eat at Olive Garden where she then told me about how there was a general authority who once said that there are no such things as coincidences. Forgot who it was that said it but I still discouraged the idea. I didn't want to believe that I was suppose to go on a mission. That's not what I wanted. I kept telling myself it was just a coincidence.
That same week, my mom called me telling me she had a promonting about me needing to come home for a week. As soon as she told me! I had this overwhelming feeling of joy. Finally something felt right! I wanted to come home so badly! Turns out that same weekend was when Danna and Amber were moving back home, so it was perfect timing! I could get a ride home with them. I just had to ask for time off work!
Asking for a week off was no problem! The lead student at work was very understanding. The hard part was getting people to cover my shifts for that weekend that I was already scheduled for. Took some effort and convincing but I got the shifts all covered.
On my last day of work, my boss Jerry called me into his office. I hadn't told him that I was leaving for a week, but I'm sure the lead student Eliza had mentioned it to him and that's why he wanted to talk to me.
Jerry is such a sweet man! He calls me in and just asks me how I'm doing almost weekly but this time I was nervous. Why though? I didn't know. It was just Jerry. I was only leaving for a week. He wouldn't be mad. Would he?
As I sit down in his little office, he asks how I'm doing. I tell him I'm good. He asks how the jobs I was assigned to do are going. I tell them they're good as I smile nervously. Then I just happen to slip in that same sentence that I'm going to be gone next week. He seems somewhat suprised, so I reassure him I got the okay from Eliza, and I got another coworker to take over my assignments while I'm gone. Now, Jerry is very easy to talk to so he just continues smiling while I go on and on. I mention how I have been homesick. I go on explaining how I have these questions on my mind. Then without thinking I tell him about my experience in the temple.
Boy, was that a bad idea! Jerry then kinda laughs at me and smiles while saying that I got my answer. I'm of coarse confused. I continued to pretend I hadn't gotten my answer, but as we continued talking about a mission. I began to cry. I felt the spirit tell my in my heart tell me that I am suppose to go. Jerry was right! I had gotten my answer. I just was so closed off to it that I hadn't been able to recognize it.
I'm going to always blame Jerry for this! It's all cause of him. That sweet man just had to go and invite me into his office didn't he? He had to do that sweet smile of his and be so sure that I was going to go on a mission. haha. He changed my life.
But in a good way. He helped me realize something huge! He comforted me when I told him about my fears about going on a mission. He will forever be a great mentor to me.
After I left his office and left work, I called my sister and cried as I told her how I got my answer. It was such a great experience. I felt the spirit very strong that day. That's for sure. I'll never forget those feelings.
So, there you go. That's how I figured out that I should go on a mission. I ended up moving back home to prepare my mission papers. I'm actually in pain as I type right now because I got my wisdom teeth removed yesterday. All because I am going to go on a mission. Crazy how God can have a completely different plan for you huh? I sure never thought I'd be going on a mission, but now I'm more excited than ever. I've finally come to accept it. I'm still nervous and know there's a lot I need to do to prepare, but I do know it feels right. I still have the desire to get married one day, but I've now aligned my timing with the Lord's. I understand that a mission is what I need to do first, before I can have my happily ever after. :)
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