Going home is starting to make me nervous and have a little bit of anxiety. But this past week was the most spiritual and emotional week I think I've ever had. I grew a lot in just a couple days it seems. On Tuesday we had zone conference where a guest speaker ( a returned missionary who served in Korea) named PJ Rogers. The focus of zone conference was on working with members and Brother Rogers taught us quite a bit about Korean culture. He was really cool and funny. For me personally though, I got something different out of the trainings at conference. Here's a few things I wrote down in my notes:
Bro. PJ Rogers' training- What I do now will determine the rest of my life. Through diligent thorough missionary work it can be a sanctification for our life. It's a FRESH START!
One thing I'm worried is that I'm going to go home and go back to how I was before I left. I've learned so much and grown so close to the Lord that's the last thing I want to do.
President Morrise's training- The Lord gives us the traction we need to press forward with faith in Christ and to improve. We all carry different loads. Some loads we can't help but have sometimes like stress. But one load we put on ourselves is guilt.
Going home is a fresh start. I want to go home from my mission and know that I am coming home as a new person. My soul refreshed and at rest, completely renewed.
The rest of the week I had other confirmations that that was possible for me. District meeting we talked about patience and how we need to be patient with ourselves and also recognize that others are changing too. We talked about the wise man and the foolish man story and I realized I had a pretty sandy foundation before my mission. I'm so grateful for the experiences I've had on my mission that have helped me learn and to gain the strong rock foundation in Christ. I'm going to go home a way better person than when I left. Don't worry I'll still be "Amanda' but I'm bringing home Sister Kelly with me. I am a lot more dedicated to the gospel than I ever was before.
There's probably some disappoints you will have in me. I'm far from perfect. I hope you all know that. But my mission has changed my heart and helped me to really focus on what's important and lining my will with God's will. I gained an even deeper understanding of the power of the Atonement and how God truly can change our hearts if we allow Him. I have a lot of things going on in my head, but one thing I know for sure is that going home is going to be a fresh start. I have nothing holding me back anymore. I am happy to say that I've truly given myself-my all- to the Lord. It only took a year and a half but I am never ever going to regret it serving and becoming closer to my Heavenly Father.<3
I reread Al Fox Carraway's blogposts that Michelle sent me and I loved it so much I want to quote part of it. She said, "Yeah, sure our future can be uncertain at times, but how exciting that is! How exciting it is to know it's guided by God!" God knows us better than we know ourselves. We must TRUST Him. Allow Him to to show you how great He is and what He blessings He has in store for us. I plan to FOCUS on Him and have PATIENCE that everything will work out how it should. "We are always worth of our God's love. Prioritize. Turn to Him. Experiment Act. Focus. Commit. Try. Hold on. Embrace and receive."
I can honestly say that I've found my life by losing it and giving it all to the Lord. (Matthew 16:25)
Thanks for all the support you've given me!