Over the coarse of this past month, I’ve had many people ask me if I’m nervous … Well, of course I am!! I don't know how anyone could not be! I dreaded whenever someone asked me that. As the weeks got closer for those who have talked to me, I bet you could tell I wanted to avoid thinking about it as much as possible.
It's true I have had the experience of being away from home as I went to BYU for a couple semesters, but I could always come back during vacations, I could always call my family whenever I wanted to. In fact, I got in the habit of calling my mom every day as I walked to and from campus, in-between classes, or when I was just plain bored. I was blessed to have my older sister living 15 minutes away from me. There was always the comfort of friends and roommates but now I won’t have all that. I’ll be in a completely different country with a different culture, different foods, even a different language! I mean, living in the “mormon” bubble was different from here in California of course, but not that different! I will be far away from the help of my family and the comfort of my friends. And yes, it makes me nervous to think about.
It’s crazy to me that I will be teaching. I will be?! Because the truth is, I don’t know the scriptures as well as I wish I did. I’ve gone to mission prep, but I don’t know all the content of the manuals and books from which we’ll be teaching.
The Lord was being serious when He revealed to Joseph Smith in the 35th section of the Doctrine and Covenants that He would “call upon the weak things of the world, those who are unlearned and despised, to thrash the nations by the power of [His] Spirit” (v. 13).
I’ve come to realize that God sees a lot more potential in us than we see in ourselves. It’s crazy how all your life you think your life is going to turn out a certain way and you’re suppose to do one thing, but then the Lord sorta laughs and says to you, “No, no, silly! I’ve got something else in store for you.” At least that’s how it feels for me.
I don’t know the first thing about the Korean language, the people I’m going to meet, or how I’ll get along with my companions. But it’s comforting to know that Heavenly Father knows what He’s doing, that He knows me personally, and that for the next 18 months I will be doing what He wants me to do.
I will be continuing the work first started on this earth by His Son; my Savior.
Leading up to receiving my call, I was very hopeful that I'd be going foreign. When I say foreign though I actually meant Scotland, France, or even Australia. I never once thought I’d be called to Asia of all places! In fact, South Korea was one of the places on my “do not want to go there list” As I read the words Korea Seoul South- mispronounced I might add haha! I heard everyone’s excitement. Except I was shocked. I didn't know how to react other than finish the sentence, and smile. "Fake it til you make it" resounding in my head. And so I did. It didn’t seem too hard as I continued to read on to see when I would report to the MTC but then as I read the words ‘speaking korean’ it finally hit me. I'm not going to lie to you guys and tell you that I was excited in that moment.
My family was probably the only ones who knew those tears weren’t for joy, I tried my best to hide my disappointment and I held my head up, and after a little more crying and lots of praying, I decided that if it be the Lord's will, I will go and do the things which he has commanded me. I was willing to sacrifice my comfort and wants for what the Lord wanted me to do. The Lord definitely humbled me a bit.
Now, telling that story is a bit ridiculous, as I could not be more excited. The more and more I learned about South Korea the more and more comfortable I got with the idea. I can honestly say I know I’m meant to serve there. I have no clue why there of all places, but I trust the Lord and I know there is a reason.
5 days lefts...